Your Mom's New Boyfriend's Profile

I may or may not be the creation of some insane wizard. There is a man in the desert who knows for sure, but will not tell me until I complete the 7 tasks. Also, cocks.

Website: www.examiner.com/x-13314-seattle-cocktails-examiner

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Commented on HOSTAGE: A Love Story with Zachary Quinto

Oh, Spock. You have a filty, fucking mouth....

Commented on The Stevie Wonder Drum Solo

Are you FUCKING KIDDING?...

Commented on YBNBY Ghetto Basket Giveaway

Drank A gun shaped lighter gas station bling a glass tube and a brillo pad Faygo...

Commented on Flip cup. Win Hooters girl?

I find it hard to believe that an Extenze spokesman, a soccer mom, and a deaf chick beat a bunch of collar poppers at flipcup. That sounds like the plot of a really bad '80s movie....

Commented on Quote for the Day.

"Man is least himself in his own form. Give him a mask, and he'll tell you the truth"....

Commented on Dude Looks Like A Lady

Good lord, Jam Master Jay looks better than Steven Tyler....

Commented on An Open Letter to the People of America

Death to the reality shows. Here's my proposal: Get the producers of all the reality shows available (really, its only, like, five people), and set them up in a Mortal Kombat tournament (to the death). The survivor of the tournament...

Commented on Listen Up!

Why'd they break up? She seems like such a wonderful person....

Commented on Memorable Mugshot

To the surprise of no one, I also have that shirt....

Commented on Favorite John Hughes Flick

I used to really like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I say used to, because back then I didn't realize that he was really just a SPOILED WHITE KID FROM THE SUBURBS THAT COULD GET AWAY WITH MURDER. Other than that,...

Commented on Well This Explains Everything

Wow, Billy Mays is only a level 6 creature? That means I only have to sacrifice one monster to summon him!...

Commented on Pedo-Bear Approves This Message

Mr. Rilly, STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILDREN!...

Commented on Megan Fox Post Protest

Well, Leo, she does have some wicked DSLs....

Commented on Megan Fox Post Protest

The whole idea is to basically detoxify the public's awareness, in order to keep her star status in check. A good simile would be to take your favorite meal. If you had to eat that meal, every day, for the...

Commented on Real Literature

One of the books I pick up frequently is the Tao te Ching. Not so much as to read it cover to cover (though it really takes only ten minutes to do so), but to kinda set the pace for...

Commented on Ye Olde Weekend Caption Competition

Hillary was more enthused about the three way than Bill....

Commented on Best Worst Joke

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded....

Commented on That's How to Lose Weight?

I don't see what the problem is. It looks like a feasible workout option, and for a price that low, its a steal. I think all women should by this, so they can better stroke my co.....I mean, tone those...

Commented on From the Breakfast Links

I don't know if its just me, but Jake Lloyd seems like a little prick. He kinda has that smarmy, nerd "I'm smarter than you" attitude that alienates him from everyone else....

Commented on Vote For Josh

I respect any child's right to rock the fuck out. If he wants to blast AC/DC, then dammit, let the child blast some Acadaca. If that fails, he can always sing for Bang Camaro....

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